Now I finally understand that forever is actually easy to expect, for it comes when we are loving and being loved.
Forever is not as far as we cannot see, but it is as near as we can experience in every minute.
Forever is right now.
ONE
I used to like riding my bicycle alone, hanging around the boundary of my small town.
It was a little pretty town away from hustle and bustle, whose outlying fields were covered with a huge mass of golden rape flowers that would dazzle you at first sight during the sunny season.
The air was so nice and fresh that my nose wing could not help itself broadening to take a deep breath, which brought along the gentle and delicate fragrance of the rape flowers, mixed with the bitter smell of greenness from the soil. It smelt true and natural. The effulgence of the sunshine would blow on my face when I was galloping with my bike on the flat concrete road, that would make me feel like to close my eyes lightly, and to slowly spread out my arms, flying just like the heroine in City Of Angels. I was inebriated with the enjoyment of freedom.
It was Gi Gi’s Sook that I was always crooning; and there must be a little happiness when a peaceful and satisfied smile appearing on my face. I would keep the innocent joy in the beaming eyes and on the leisured eyebrows, and keep it forever, since I was young and carefree.
TWO
This was a just zoned high-technological development area. The small town presented an entirely new appearance after few years: the serried high-technological industries, immigratory campuses of universities, new transplants, and quick leap of vehicles had made the small town busy and dusty.
Since then there was no more cycling alone or wandering around, even I became busy. I was busy with the national entrance examination, my English and going abroad.
I still remember the spare time when I was waiting for my visa. I had a boyfriend who once accompanied me to take a walk after the self-study lessons at night.
Holding hands, we were passing by the clearing that used to be the farms full of fragrant rape flowers. We were surprised and sighed pleasantly at how much we had been changed to each other, and we went aftertaste of sweet memories together. Riding bicycle, he was carrying me on the backseat roaming around the boundary of my small town. Even though everything had been changed, I was happy as if yesterday once more - I had my little simple joy again.
I would not believe in forever, since I just wanted to hold love once intensely and tightly. I had never given promises, but deep inside my lonely heart, I was dreaming secretly about a promise last forever. That is me - an inconsistent Gemini, who would never find the way to forever.
THREE
The song Eternal Flame was repeating over and over again through the sleepless nights.
Close your eyes,
Give me your hand, darling,
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Or am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
…
The melody was so elegant and heavenly, and the rhythm was so mild and tender. Every note that flowed in my ears felt like a splash when running rivulets dashing against cobblestones, which could wash down my heavy soul and make me feel refreshed and free from worry.